12 Products From Hell

1. This is the most unappetizing food label ever printed.

The close-up is even more disturbing. From Kostelecké Uzeniny.

2. He 'brakes for cycles.' Behold Vinnie's Tampon Case

3. Mr. Brain's Pork Faggots

Sounds scrumptious.

4. Mini Joke Breasts?

Stick a breast on your nose, your fingers, wherever!

5. Pork Brains with Milk Gravy

Can we throw up now?

6. Super Big Boy Condoms

Yeah, we get the analogy; it's a little disturbing, but we get it.

7. 666 Cold Medicine

The cold medicine of the beast.

8. Pickle Juice Sport Drink

We're sure the pickle juice is beneficial, but how about a name that doesn't trigger the gag reflex, like 'Green Monster' or 'Sport Juice'?

9. "Get a Toned Face!" 

According to the manufacturer, "[b]ecause of gravity, facial lines and your mouth can become flaccid. This product helps to reduce facial lines and visible signs of aging around the mouth."

10. Spotted Dick Microwavable Sponge Pudding

Venereal disease in a can!

11. Rap Snacks Potato Chips

"Get Crunk!"

12. Fat Lips Party Joke from Tokyu Hands

Wrong on so many levels.

Comments

[Jim]

The mini fake breasts caution label says "Don't expose under sunshine."? I'm having Happy Fun Ball flashbacks.

Do not taunt mini fake breasts.

[AnusJuice.com]

We should have a 12 URLs from hell.

[Tim]

The super big boy condoms are actually large Japanese condoms. They are about the size of 'regular' American condoms, and fall quite short (no pun intended) of US-brand 'large' condoms like Magnum.

I had these imported from Japan when some I knew traveled there. All three different boxes are 'large' but all are smaller than 'average' size condoms here.

-Tim

[Moonbeam McQueen]

Thank goodness they've labeled those fake breasts for ages five and up.

[WallyAnti]

Haha, I've eaten the ODB and Youngbloods RapSnacks chips. Found them neslted between Ghetto Juice and Jeff Foxworthy's Beef jerky at the Big Lots (not at all kidding) They are seriously disgusting. So much flavor powder it cakes on your fingers. I love how ODB's caption says "Think Responsibly" Ha if you did that you wouldn't eat this crap.

[murr]

Gotta love the fact the joke boobs are for ages 5 and up.

[jp]

I've actually seen rap snacks for sale in a skanky gas station in north county St. Louis. I thought they HAD to be a joke for sure. I guess not.

[KB]

Funny, but Good Work!!

[William Conrad Lawson]

When I visited France in 1962 I bought a bubbly bottle of soda named "Pssssht." Just like the sound it made when uncapped. I don't remember what it tasted like, but I brought the bottle home. Now, I can't find it.

[Richard]

Wow, that has got to be the sickest collection of products I have ever seen. GREAT WORK, albeit a bit disgusting, BUT STILL GREAT WORK!

[Sam Saylor]

All of the foods I've had before, and they all tasted pretty good. The world's just gotten itself into a certain condition, and here's our feelings on it:

"But I like it in the gutter. You meet all sorts o' interestin' folk down there."
Mudge, "Spellsinger"

Great novel by Alan Dean Foster, BTW.

[Oink D Hustle]

Yeah, it's the people who went wrong in 1917. Knob gobblin' is a new invention- so surely, no one could have intentionally drawn some guy slurpin' polska kielbasa like Richard Simmons in a mens' room back in the day of "gentlemen".

[mity]

BTW wise people from czfree.net found out how to create cheap anthena for wi-fi networking from the can of Kostelecké párky.

You can find some info here (in Czech language):
http://czfree.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=711

Regarding the taste of it, it's probably more reasonable purpose of the product ;-)

[Doc]

My crappy job makes me have to put those Faggots and Spotted Dick onto shelves for the masses, however I still giggle like a kid when someone says "Excuse me mate, where do you keep your Faggots?"

[Jonesey]

I've seen the Rap Snacks at Big Lots along with Jeff Foxworthy beef (and ham) jerky.. and yes, you guessed it, I'm in the south LOL

[Steph]

I LOVE my Vinnie's Tampon Case! I get so many comments on it, from men and women alike. :) Shoot, I'm a woman. I menstruate. Why sugar-coat it?

But Pickle Juice Sport? Really? *shudders*

[Kotan]

Being, I'll admit it, a gay (and the yes I am the only one in the village - which is a pun only those in the UK will understand, sorry). I have to say that both faggots and spotted dick are frequently found in my home - though the latter usually only as a dessert.
For anyone visiting the UK, home made (not Mr Brains) faggots are increasingly appearing on high class menus - so try some, and I promise you'll find a new food that you won't want to live without.

[headmaster]

SevereCircle, you're being seriously naive if you think people didn't make a connection to fellatio 100, or even 1,000 (should it have existed then) years ago from that sausage logo.

[Grizzly Geezer]

There was this fellow Jeffrey Dahmer who used to keep frozen faggots & likely some brains in his freezer as well. He never did say if they were exceptionally tasty or not ... but we will have to take his word on the matter as he really went out of his way to lay in a supply.

[Adam]

LOL Your kids are having faggots for tea. That sounds so wrong

[Loli]

I love the comment in the upper corner of the play breasts. "Ages 5+"

[Edgar]

"Faggots" are food in the UK, in wales mainly. They're quite tasty actually.
I'm English and when I'm using stumble some things you yanks find funny are just average to us.... and you don't get Irony either..... why are you the most powerful nation on earth again?

[ian]

All those people who say Spotted Dick is teh yum... they ain't lyin'.

[Leonard]

Hah. The pork brains canner won a silver medal in 1915 (and presumably nothing since then...good ol' turn of the century meat canning craftsmanship!)

[Diana]

Pickle juice should only be taken if necessary in case of emergency. Say someone is seriously dehydrated it works 10 times better than Gatorade or Pedialyte. It is a well known fact. No joke!!