12 Products From Hell

1. This is the most unappetizing food label ever printed.

The close-up is even more disturbing. From Kostelecké Uzeniny.

2. He 'brakes for cycles.' Behold Vinnie's Tampon Case

3. Mr. Brain's Pork Faggots

Sounds scrumptious.

4. Mini Joke Breasts?

Stick a breast on your nose, your fingers, wherever!

5. Pork Brains with Milk Gravy

Can we throw up now?

6. Super Big Boy Condoms

Yeah, we get the analogy; it's a little disturbing, but we get it.

7. 666 Cold Medicine

The cold medicine of the beast.

8. Pickle Juice Sport Drink

We're sure the pickle juice is beneficial, but how about a name that doesn't trigger the gag reflex, like 'Green Monster' or 'Sport Juice'?

9. "Get a Toned Face!" 

According to the manufacturer, "[b]ecause of gravity, facial lines and your mouth can become flaccid. This product helps to reduce facial lines and visible signs of aging around the mouth."

10. Spotted Dick Microwavable Sponge Pudding

Venereal disease in a can!

11. Rap Snacks Potato Chips

"Get Crunk!"

12. Fat Lips Party Joke from Tokyu Hands

Wrong on so many levels.

Comments

[SayBlade]

I saw that spotted dick sold in a can at Bulk Barn. Apparently it has suet in it so it is not vegetarian!

[Shades]

Spotted dick. A suet sponge with raisins. These days it comes in a tin, or in a box, but as a lump either way. Back when it was 'invented', it was cooked in the same way as a sausage - stuffed into animal intestines, tied off and slung into the stew.

They called it spotted dick because it looked like one.

[orange]

All these British taking offense at their beloved spotted dick & faggots being made fun of need to grow a sense of humor.
If you can't take it yourself, then stop with your lame & unoriginal insults at "yanks".

[Git-tarzan]

Actually, mini-breasts are NOT a choking hazard....when they're the REAL thing!

[britt]

See, the pork brains are actually really good. It's actually sausage and eggs. We eat it in my family only we call it hogs brains. It's better freshly made, but I guess if in a can is the best some people can do...

[Becca]

My mom has always made "Lumpy Dick" for breakfast. It is one of my favorites. It's a creamy porridge with dumplings. Does anyone know the origins of the name. Is this a well known dish in the UK?

[Paul]

I'm afraid we've been eating faggots for ever in the UK. They are a tasty processed beef concoction with onion and herbs and have nothing to do with other uses for the word faggot (e.g. a bundle of twigs).

Similarly spotted dick is a wonderful steamed suet pudding - the spots are raisins. It's comfort food for British men over 40.

I agree about the Kostelecky though!

[SubBlurbs]

LOL at the pickle juice!
I actually saw some genuine pickle juice in a health food store once. Made me laugh then, makes me laugh now!

Great post, thanks!

Richard
www.subblurbs.com

[speaker]

I like that the 'fake breasts' come in a pack of 5. Mastectomy anyone?

[rprebel]

That last one? Only in Japan. I'm sure it comes from a vending machine.

[Istanbul Hotels]

Spotted dick isn't that bad, although those faggots looked pretty unappetising...
www.istanbulstay.com

[Jamster]

Brains faggots are the best. Especially when eaten with cheesy mash and peas. I always have a pack in the freezer.

[Jessica]

You're completely missing the point of the "fat lips", they're shaped like tarako http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarako_(food) , which is supposed to be what makes them amusing.

[mr Wilkes]

There was a box of pork faggots in a freezer at a student house i lived in. no-one owned up to them for two years and when we left they were the only item left in the house. by the way they are disgusting and contain worse things than brain. spotted dick is lush though, real british stodgy pudding

[Bobby Lee]

Uh-Oh Hot Dog!

[RichardB]

Brain's Faggots (which are MADE by a company called Brain's, they don't contain ACTUAL BRAINS) used to be advertised on TV in the UK and Timothy 'James Bond' Dalton did the voice-over. Maybe the Bond gig wasn't paying the rent.