Religious Zealots Say the Darndest Things

They say...

1. That Hell is just beneath you, less than twenty miles away.

(Photo by Martin Sharman).

According to Pastor James Melton "the sphere of Hell is a round, hollowed-out place in the Earth's core...Scientists say that the Earth's outer crust is less than twenty miles thick, and that beyond that point, there [is] ... a lake of fire. [At] this very moment your eternal soul may be less than twenty miles from the burning fires of Hell!"

Pastor Melton's not alone. According to Dial-the-Truth Ministries, hell is unquestionably inside of the Earth. "The great pit [of] hell would only need to be about 100 miles or less in diameter to contain, with much room to spare, all the forty billion or so people who have ever lived, assuming their spiritual bodies are the same size as their physical bodies."

2. That the earth is stationary; the universe in fact orbits the Earth.

(Photo by NASA).

According to the Fair Education Foundation, the universe, "the stars, every 23 hours and 56 minutes...go around a stationary Earth."

The Association for Biblical Astronomy believes similarly.

3. That if you speed, you're going to hell.

(Photo by Raysto).

This, according to the End-Time Deliverance Ministry, which states:

"Is speeding a sin?  Yes, and sin cannot get into Heaven." Not surprisingly, they aren't the only ones with such beliefs.

4. That the SpongeBob Squarepants Movie was sexually immoral because, among other things, it revealed too much cartoon butt.

5. That "homosexuals reproduce sexually by molesting children."

(Photo by Yann Caradec).

6. That dinosaurs did not live millions of years ago but rather "date from around 6,000 years ago—the approximate date of creation obtained by adding up the years in the Bible."

(Photo by Bret Arnett).

And of course the corollary is that the earth, rather than being billions of years old, "has an age measured in only thousands of years, just as the Bible teaches."

7. That gays, the ACLU, abortionists and feminists are to blame for the September 11th terrorist attacks.

(Photo by Hiro).

Thank you, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.

Comments

[Xenophon]

Why do people think that a loving God is capable of doing all these terrible things? Is this not more a reflection of their own inner feelings? Do we REALLY believe God is sadistic? That He revels in the knowledge that sinners will burn forever? Sick.

[just being fair]

Let's be fair -- since all motion is relative, there's no difference between saying the earth rotates around the sun or the sun (and the rest of the cosmos in a more complex movement) rotates around the earth.

It's funny, it sounds ridiculous, it's not the way we normally think -- but it's also fair.

[Gilbert]

understanding why people believe in the kingdom of heaven is as easy as accepting the hard truth that certain things can't be explained.

namely: why does reality exist at all?

1) our reality began existing from nothing - no

2) our reality always existed ad infinitum, and continues to exist - perhaps

3) prior to creation, our reality did not exist - perhaps

so to point #2, i find no deeper meaningful explanation concerning our existence using empirical evidence used within our universe (realm of perception) - call me a hopeful optimist.

[chimera]

i'm surprised that anyone who believes in this nonsense is capable of operating a computer. maybe there is hope for mankind afterall..

facts:
hell does not exist. and it certainly is not in the earth's mantle.
dinosaurs are (hundreds to tens of) millions of years old.

you'd be much happier people not living like ned flanders, worrying that every action you take is in violation of this lord you believe in (and fear). that's the kind of god i want, the god i fear. some life you're living - all so you live out this so-called holy lifestyle, then you end up rotting in the ground, just like i will. welcome to reality, folks.

[The Bible Doesn't Lie]

The bible doesn't lie. That said, none of these things are in it. Hell? Nope. Earch being front and center? Na-uh. The only thing that holds any merit is the speeding thing. "Give Ceasar's things to Ceasar and God's things to God" and all that jazz... that said, your not going to hell for speeding. Hell, as it meant as a word, and as the bible means it is the common grave. You go there when you die, and you don't think or feel. Then you get rez'd! Like Shadowrun! (Sorta)

[Gus]

Well, the universe could very well revolve around the earth, it's relative to your perspective. It's a lot easier and more intuitive to say that Earth revolves around the sun, but I don't think it's necessarily incorrect to claim otherwise.

[Anonymous]

As someone who chooses to remain on the line, I don't understand why anyone, Christian or Atheist, feels it necessary to "convert" the other. It's stringent classifications like these that cause terrible things like war and hatred. I don't believe in religion because it has only seperated groups of people for thousands of years. However, I do believe in kindness; why go through life hating every Christian or every Atheist just because of what they believe?

[DigMyPage]

Simple loigc. If god knows every thing, he/she also knows your final destiny, i.e. if you are going to heaven or hell (if there is such a thing and that is another topic). So, it does not matter what you do, believe in god, don't believe in god, speeding, etc. etc. your destiny is known to God. I am not saying that path you take to reach your final resting place is fixed but god knows the the path and your final destiny. You can change your destiny but all the changes and every thing else god knows.

So, there is no need to believe in god, christ, visnu, allah, or any other god.

Just be a decent human being and try to realize the ultimate truth. What is the ultimate truth? That is another topic for another day.

[bourbononthrocks]

wow, not sure what to say about all of this. guess people are capable of believing anything if they want to badly enough.

if there is a god and he/she/it decided to make the earth look and seem and behave as though it were billions of years old, what's the difference to us as humans anyway. sounds to me like he/she/it is going out of his/hers/its way to hide his/hers/its existence. maybe we should just leave him/her/it alone. sounds like he/she/it could use a little privacy.

[papa burgundy]

Wow, look at these people commenting. Acting as though some of these things have a chance of happening. Wake up morons. Look around you. Reason and think for once in your lives.

[Jason DeRocco]

everyone who believes in the story of religion is weak. They only believe in it because that is how they were raised from their parents or influenced by others. People do not know how to "think critically" don't believe all the garbage you hear. You people should believe in yourselves and in others and stop believing in some bull crap stories. You'll be amazed on how much further you can get by depending on yourself. That is if your a strong minded person, but if your weak than go to church and waste your money and your time by believing in they biggest lie/story ever told. Church is a business,smart people realize that they can make money off of the stupid persons emotions and beliefs. In fact since it's so easy to influence the half minded people of this nation, I'm going to start my own religion. There is only one rule. "The Golden Rule", treat others as you want to be treated. No going to church every week, no giving money, no praying to me, no , just believe in yourselves. You should realize that religion originated and evolved from people believing in the SUN. the sun provides light from darkness and on and on. I have a great start for you people, you should start by watching this...the first part explains the lie of religion, and how jesus christ is probably just as credible as one of my terds...

www.zeitgeistmovie.com <--- watch NOW!!

Hahaha!

www.answersingenesis.com is the National Enquirer of the fundamentalists. Most of their arguments are circular, using the bible to prove the bible. For instance, check out the "proof" that Moses authored Genesis; whoever wrote it was knowledgeable about the plants in the area at the time? That's proof? So my mother must have authored it because she visited the region and remarked on the plant life. Oh, and all the rest of the "proofs" are later books in the bible just rehashing the same point, so yeah, he must have written it. Says so right there, even by the later authors who just repeated it. See?

Gosh darned it, yur right!

[Dre]

The 7th one probably has something to do with the Muslim beliefs being against homosexuals, abortions, etc...so that is most likely what it's referring to.

[B]

Those who believe absurdities will commit atrocities.

[chris]

Great list! I remember when I was at college we'd always have very "enthusiastic" religious people come by and make a scene on campus.

[theMadJW]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLO!
It's not 'Christianity' - it's Churchianity!
The Clergy do NOT teach what the Bible REALLY says!
Which is: "Hell" in hebrew & greek, means "Grave", "Pit".
The dead are (gasp!) really dead!
(Until the Day of Resurrection)
The Lake of Fire (Revelation) ISN'T Hell; Hell is thrown INTO it.
It is a symbol of destruction!

Genesis opens telling us the Earth ALREADY EXISTED before the Creative Days began, and refers to the WHOLE PERIOD as ONE day in the 2nd chapter! "Day" was used simply as a period of time- as in Noah's "Day"!

Most Religion is a snare- and a Racket!

"i actually think some of them are true..like the dinosaurs...and the hell at the core thing..its possible you know...and if you believe in the Bible.. :)"

You are unbelievably retarded. I pitty you people who believe so blindly in tome of ancient social control.

[Malaki]

I seriously recomend everyone who sees this to read these quotes.Some of them hold an amazingly large power of persuasion just by the stark truthfullness of the statements.

http://leftofzen.com/quotes-atheism/2008/01/14/

[Sean]

So speeding is a sin because it's breaking the laws of man? Since when did man get to rule on behalf of God? I don't believe in God but this is preposterous. My favorite excuse to things like the earth only being thousands of years old though - the devil put the fossils there to confuse you.

[Just]

How come Lesbians didnt cause 9/11, seems a bit unfair?

[badfrog]

Here are two quotes from a religious fanatic:

"A man can marry a girl younger than nine years of age, even if the girl is still a baby being breastfed. A man, however is prohibited from having intercourse with a girl younger than nine, other sexual acts such as foreplay, rubbing, kissing and sodomy is allowed. A man having intercourse with a girl younger than nine years of age has not committed a crime, but only an infraction, if the girl is not permanently damaged. If the girl, however, is permanently damaged, the man must provide for her all her life. But this girl will not count as one of the man's four permanent wives. He also is not permitted to marry the girl's sister."

"A man can have sex with sheep, cows and camels and so on. However, he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village; however, selling the meat to the next door village should be fine."

These are from Ayatollah Khomeini, and are right out of the Koran.

Christians are a safe, fat target that won't fight back except with words. Show how brave you all are by picking on the REAL religious menace. And watch that halal butcher.

[mark]

Wow. The comments are better than the post. And when I say better, I mean worse, as in 'please god, help the fucktard christians to stop being so intellectually challenged. AND if you refuse to wave your magic staff and make it so, then please, stop them from reproducing or gaining political offices or school board positions.' Amen.

If the universe is only 6,000 years old it would be at most 12,000 light years from end to end. The Milky Way is estimated to be 100,000 light years across.

[frog to prince]

They forgot this one whopper of a criminally insane theory/concept:

"Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of higher animals, directly follows"

The only problem is, we've all been brainwashed for generations, from birth, and at the expense of your tax dollars with the ideas that make this quote a 'logical' conclusion, for the above quote is from Darwin's "On the origin of species by means of natural selection or the preservation of favored races in the struggle for life."

Oh and scientists are constantly finding fragments of dinosaurs that still have blood cells and flexible cartilage preserved. Ancient artwork depicting dinosaurs abound across the planet, they were known as dragons then. Million years? Carbon dating and all the other methods can't even accurately date objects beyond several thousand years. We've also found animals they say have been extinct for millions of years. Evolution is a state-sponsored religion and protected at all costs.

Go look up "US Congressional Committee Report: INTOLERANCE AND THE POLITICIZATION OF SCIENCE AT THE SMITHSONIAN"

and put down the kool-aid and realize evolution was only ever pushed into public schools by the ACLU, founded by Roger Baldwin who admitted it was founded to advance communism in America.

The theory of evolution is also indispensible to the New Age movement, but that's a whole other can of worms.

Most Christians are nutjobs, most believe in evolution it seems.

[JR]

African American christian here... As far as the Laws of Man and this sinning business... I was curious to know if the laws of 1845 stated that I was a slave and to be treated as less than human, would helping a slave get to the north be considered a "sin"? After all, which laws are we to follow? Any ol' law made by unjust, evil men or those in the Bible? Just curious?