TheMishMash.com

Some People Have No Business Sense

(Photo by kpe).

We're guessing Mr. Baldwin is not next in line for Season 6 of The Apprentice.

With a Name Like That, It Damn Well Better Be Good

According to Entrepreneur.com, "[n]aming a business is a lot like laying the cornerstone of a building. Once it's in place, the entire foundation and structure is aligned to that original stone." 

For example, Smucker's, famous for its jams and jellies, skillfully capitalized on its unusual name with the slogan, "With a name like Smucker's, it has to be good."

The jury's out, though, on the following establishments:

1. Yeah, it's a liquor store; we get it.  The modern day connotation is difficult, at least for our juvenile minds, to get past, however.

(Photo by bartendermagic.com).

2. Bubba, you're not running a bait shop. You have a last name. Use it.

(Photo by Alex Cockroach).

I is Stewpid

stu·pid  [stoo-pid, styoo-] –adjective
1.    lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2.    characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question.

Stupidity is of course right up our alley; and, as they say, "It takes one to know one." Hence:

1. Anna, here's a tip: go back and finish the 6th grade.

(Photo by py0tr3).

2. Why?

(Photo by aperrypic).

Why Some People Shouldn't Be Allowed to Use Twitter

Twitter.com: "Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?"

User Dopeboyfresh, though, appears to be a perfect example of Twitter done wrong. To wit:

Yikes.

10 Fascinatingly Atypical 'Curb Your Dog' Signs

1. The Rastafarians have a way with words.

(Photo by anthonyturducken).

2. Of course the Lutherans are more staid about matters.

(Photo by .ian).

Never Before Seen: Mannequin's Cesarean Birth?

I'm at a loss for words.

(Photo by Stéfan).

(Photo by Stéfan).

12 Consumer Product Oddities

1. Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers: stick 'em "onto the inside of your underwear or pants, exactly where you think [they] go."

2. Snott Gorila Hair Styling Gel a/k/a moco de gorila "is THE product for all the most way-out hair styles that need GORILLA STRENGTH!"

11 Neighbors from Hell

Thank god for zoning laws, covenants and deed restrictions.

1. So that's where the bodies are buried.

(Photo by DistortedSmile).

The full-size image is even scarier.

2. Is it a pool or a baptistry?

(Photo by Digital_Freak).

Coming Soon to a Child's Nightmare Near You

(Photo by Mike Osswald).

Parents, here's a suggestion: stick with Chuck E. Cheese.

Religious Zealots Say the Darndest Things

They say...

1. That Hell is just beneath you, less than twenty miles away.

(Photo by Martin Sharman).

According to Pastor James Melton "the sphere of Hell is a round, hollowed-out place in the Earth's core...Scientists say that the Earth's outer crust is less than twenty miles thick, and that beyond that point, there [is] ... a lake of fire. [At] this very moment your eternal soul may be less than twenty miles from the burning fires of Hell!"

Pastor Melton's not alone. According to Dial-the-Truth Ministries, hell is unquestionably inside of the Earth. "The great pit [of] hell would only need to be about 100 miles or less in diameter to contain, with much room to spare, all the forty billion or so people who have ever lived, assuming their spiritual bodies are the same size as their physical bodies."

2. That the earth is stationary; the universe in fact orbits the Earth.

(Photo by NASA).

According to the Fair Education Foundation, the universe, "the stars, every 23 hours and 56 minutes...go around a stationary Earth."

The Association for Biblical Astronomy believes similarly.

If You Only Had a Brain...

1. You'd have left the work truck at home.

(Photo by Sara B. Jones).

2. You wouldn't have quit your day job.

(Photo by Ikes).

For the Budding Deer Hunter

According to product manufacturer Gemmy Industries, "this motion-activated deer lifts his head and sings 'Low Rider' and 'Sweet Home Alabama'! Watch the hunters BOBBLE their heads to the beat as the car BOUNCES and headlights FLASH!!"

(Photo by TheeErin).

Of course it's available at Walmart.

"As I Was Walking Down the Street [Another] Day..."

1. Cabbage Patch Dolls for the juvenile delinquent.

(Photo by Abra Frankel).

2. Gives a whole, new meaning to the phrase One Stop Shopping.

(Photo by Kim Ripley).

Here I Come to Save the Day, er...I mean, Your Soul!

Forget Mighty Mouse, it's Bibleman!

(Photo by Frozenmeat).

Who's Bibleman? He's a "human transformed by the Word of God." Duh.

Bibleman, his "faithful sidekick Cypher" and Biblegirl are available as action figures and can be seen on DVD in such classics as Tuning Out the Unholy Hero,  Breaking the Bonds of Disobedience and Conquering the Wrath of Rage.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

So Many Signs, So Little Time

1. Certainly covers all bases.

(Photo by loungelistener).

2. And a Happy New Year.

(Photo by David Mongeau-Petitpas).

11 Toilets from Hell

1. His and her bathrobes? Sure. His and her bowel movements? Pass.

2. When nature calls it's not always according to 'schedule'.

(Photo by Brenda Anderson).

10 Bathroom Placards for the Uncommonly Stupid

1. I accept!

(Photo by Kirsten Kirkpatrick).

2. Translation? "You! Out of the gene pool!"

(Photo by Henning Schürig).

Thanks for the Tip

We're not sure who's dumber: the person who needs the hint or the dope who thinks such guidance is necessary.

 

7 Places You Hope You Never See a...Sphincter?

You hope you never see a sphincter...

1. Anywhere you'd eat.

That didn't deter, however, artist Atelier Van Lieshout from creating the the Bar Rectum, which "takes its shape from the human digestive system: starting with the tongue, continuing to the stomach, moving through the small and the large intestines and exiting through the anus...The anus itself is part of a large door that doubles as an emergency exit."

Yummy.

2. Anywhere you keep your lipstick.

The larger image is even more unsettling.

(Photograph taken by The Kozy Shack).

Flunked (cont'd)

DONT EVING THANK OFF what?

Hillbilly Roach Coach

The mounted antlers and SQURIL and RABIT menu items really seal the deal. For a closer view, click here.

[Please Don't] Send in the Clowns: 11 Clowns You Hope Never Work Your Child's Birthday Party

1. "This is my part-time gig, just until the Dead get back together. By the way, any of you kids got a J?"

2. "Hi. I'm Giggles, and I'm an alcoholic."

"You'll Shoot Your Eye Out."

God, please, shoot both of my eyes out.

Absolute Worst Product Package...Ever

(Photo by Kate Raynes-Goldie).

Our advice? Whether it's a flower or not, avoid reference to the feline anus.

"Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be A$*h0les"

Waylon Jennings urged Moms not to let their babies grow up to be cowboys; we're more concerned though with those who grow up to be a$*h0les. This, then, is our ode to those who need to lighten up.

1. Your ass is like a so tight, you fart and only the dogs can hear it.

2. Someone should bloody his bottom.

Explain THIS Tattoo to Your Girlfriend

I'm at a loss for words:

(Note: Clicking the picture will take you to a larger-sized image that, not unexpectedly, is even more, how you say ... disturbing.)

12 Products From Hell

1. This is the most unappetizing food label ever printed.

The close-up is even more disturbing. From Kostelecké Uzeniny.

2. He 'brakes for cycles.' Behold Vinnie's Tampon Case

Tuesday's Dolt of the Day

Holy crap; what are we dealing with here? The only thing we're sure of is that he's in love with himself.

What is the Dolt of the Day ("DOTD") segment all about? We at TheMishMash.com introduced the feature in September 2007. Each day--well, almost each day--our team of expert editors sort through flickr.com's vast database of images and find that one, special boob who merits the Dolt of the Day ("DOTD") moniker.

We of course welcome your DOTD suggestions.

To see our past winners, click here.

Flunked (cont'd)

Even with a receit.

9 'Signs' You Need a Shrink

1. There's what in the where?!

2. "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train..."

Sunday's Dolt of the Day

We're not really sure what to make of this miscreant.

What is the Dolt of the Day ("DOTD") segment all about? We at TheMishMash.com introduced the feature in September 2007. Each day--well, almost each day--our team of expert editors sort through flickr.com's vast database of images and find that one, special boob who merits the Dolt of the Day ("DOTD") moniker.

We of course welcome your DOTD suggestions.

To see our past winners, click here.

Thanks for the Tip

 

All Hail Technoviking!

Technoviking has been making the Internet rounds lately. Who's Technoviking, you ask?

According to break.com, Technoviking is "the Pied Piper of drugged up ecstasy e-tards. Remember, Technoviking does not dance to the music, the music dances to Technoviking!"

Can't add much more. Just watch; it's fascinating. We love the Internet.

Apparently Technoviking was filmed at Berlin's FuckParade, which, according to Wikipedia, "is a techno demonstration [that] as of 2005...has occurred every year since 1997, in July or August. It developed in reaction to the music restriction (exclusion of Gabber music) and commercialisation of Love Parade."

Dolt of the Day: 'Snaggletooth Sally'

Yikes.

Thursday's Dolt of the Day

What more can be said?

10 Halloween Costumes That Are Just Sick and Wrong

Halloween approaches and 'tis the season for, well, see for yourself:

1. Pie Shorts

2. 'Child Mac Daddy Suit With Hat'

Tuesday's Dolt of the Day: Mr. Cool Ice

Mr. Cool Ice?

Since When Is Sodomy Merely Hazing?

According to the Deseret Morning News:

"Three [high school] football players have been arrested and charged in juvenile court after police say they forcibly held down other players and committed sex acts on them. The players eventually were kicked off the team.

The three defendants, all 15, each face multiple charges in 3rd District Juvenile Court, including forcible sodomy, attempted forcible sodomy and forcible sexual abuse, all first-degree felonies."

Here's the kicker:

"The incidents were being called hazing by some."

Huh? Maybe you could get away with calling it hazing at Rikers Island, but on a high school football team?

Sunday's Dolt of the Day: 'Asshole with Dick in Tailpipe'

Again, our new 'Dolt of the Day' feature finds our team of expert editors sorting through flickr.com's vast database of images and finding that one, special boob who merits the 'Dolt of the Day' ("DOTD") moniker.

Sunday's DOTD is an especially moronic individual. Meet 'Asshole with Dick in Tailpipe':

I Guess McDonalds Uses Real Chicken After All

Ms. Katherine Ortega of Newport News, Virginia wants to know how a fried chicken's head ended up in her box of McDonald's chicken.

Can I throw up now?

"Katherine Ortega, of Newport News, Virginia, says if she had not been looking closely she could have easily bitten into the head. The beak, cone and some feathers were still visible.

The mother wants to know how the head could have made it past inspectors and into the hands of a customer.

"I usually look at my food but I shouldn't have to look that closely to see that. My five-year-old probably wouldn't have looked. He probably would have thought it was a chicken leg and eaten it," she said.

Ms Ortega says she refused an offer from the manager at the restaurant for more chicken and the return of the chicken's head to the distribution company."

As reported by the local television news:

Single, Most Embarrassing Video Moment Ever Captured

You can't take her anywhere:

Imbecile Cat Burglar

Seriously, could he be any dumber?

Watch more free videos

Elephants Burp? Who Knew!

I wouldn't have believed it unless I saw/heard it myself.

Burping Elephant

Future Serial Killer

'Nuff said.

"Now I'm going to suck your feet."

Speaking of mugshots, meet Mr. Carlton Jermaine Davis:

According to wcco.com:

[Mr. Davis was] charged with robbery after police say he robbed a woman of her keys and cell phone then took off her shoes and licked her toes.

According to the criminal complaint, Carlton Jermaine Davis, 26, approached a woman who was leaving work around 1 a.m. Saturday. He said to her, in a very demanding voice, "put your cell phone and purse inside the bag".

The complaint said that the 24-year-old woman was frightened so she complied. After giving Davis her belongings he demanded she take her shoes off. She complied and Davis responded "Now I'm going to suck your feet".