TheMishMash.com

Every Neighborhood's Got One

We're all for freedom of speech but, just a guess, the following exercise thereof was probably not what the Founding Fathers had in mind.

(Photo by cheeseloaf).

Apparently the photographer's neighbor went a little haywire, which resulted in "a constantly escalating yard-art battle." The larger image is here.

And Now For Something Completely Different

(Photo by amayzun).

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Send Her to College

(Photo by redteam).

(Note: The image was shot at one of the Burning Man annual events. Wikipedia has more here.)

Trump Towers It Is Not

(Photo by kitsune tsuki)

If You Only Had a Brain...

1. You'd have left the work truck at home.

(Photo by Sara B. Jones).

2. You wouldn't have quit your day job.

(Photo by Ikes).

For the Budding Deer Hunter

According to product manufacturer Gemmy Industries, "this motion-activated deer lifts his head and sings 'Low Rider' and 'Sweet Home Alabama'! Watch the hunters BOBBLE their heads to the beat as the car BOUNCES and headlights FLASH!!"

(Photo by TheeErin).

Of course it's available at Walmart.

"As I Was Walking Down the Street [Another] Day..."

1. Cabbage Patch Dolls for the juvenile delinquent.

(Photo by Abra Frankel).

2. Gives a whole, new meaning to the phrase One Stop Shopping.

(Photo by Kim Ripley).

You're an Intolerant Tool If...

1. You really think it's that simple.

(Photo by Abbyladybug).

2. You hawk pre-Civil War era garbage.

(Photo by Jacob Krejci).

(Photo by Kaleidoscope).

The Darkie items are not museum pieces; they were actually marketed by the Colgate-Palmolive Company as recently as 1988.

Single, Most Compelling Reason NOT to Vote for Mike Huckabee

Yeah, it's over the top (below), but Huckabee's recent comments raised my pucker factor to near record levels.

P.S. Yes, it's fake; it's a P.A.R.O.D.Y.

Flunked: 14 Signs of a Deficient Intellect

1. God help us.

(Photo by Laura Kicey).

2. Furst kum, furst surfed.

(Photo by Kuminiac).

"We're on a Mission from God...[the Rest of You Will Burn in Hell]"

All religions have those select few who, let's say, lack a sense of moderation. For example:

1. Good for one or two children's nightmares.

(Photo by Itatton).

2. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

(Photo by Afroswede).

11 Toilets from Hell

1. His and her bathrobes? Sure. His and her bowel movements? Pass.

2. When nature calls it's not always according to 'schedule'.

(Photo by Brenda Anderson).

10 Bathroom Placards for the Uncommonly Stupid

1. I accept!

(Photo by Kirsten Kirkpatrick).

2. Translation? "You! Out of the gene pool!"

(Photo by Henning Schürig).

"Brother, [If I Make You Laugh] Can You Spare a Dime?”

Though homelessness is no laughing matter, consider comedian Chris Rock's spoken-word song No Sex (In the Champagne Room):

"If a homeless person has a funny sign,
He hasn't been homeless that long.
A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny."

To wit:

1. Cut the guy some slack, you know what he means.

2. This guy's brave, that's all we can say.

"Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be A$*h0les"

Waylon Jennings urged Moms not to let their babies grow up to be cowboys; we're more concerned though with those who grow up to be a$*h0les. This, then, is our ode to those who need to lighten up.

1. Your ass is like a so tight, you fart and only the dogs can hear it.

2. Someone should bloody his bottom.

16 Headstones That Make You Go Hmmmm...

"Show me your cemeteries, and I will tell you what kind of people you have."  --Benjamin Franklin

1. Either Mr. Green was a real comedian or just an as$h*le.

2. The White family seemed truly grieved to lose their Raymond.

12 Products From Hell

1. This is the most unappetizing food label ever printed.

The close-up is even more disturbing. From Kostelecké Uzeniny.

2. He 'brakes for cycles.' Behold Vinnie's Tampon Case

"WHERE you wish THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME..."

Either the 'City Fathers' where the following streets are located are imbeciles or they have a great sense of humor; possibly a little of both.

And, yes, ALL of the street names are real. Google Maps links are provided for each.

1. Butt Hole Road

2. TitMan Road

Dolt of the Day

Yeah, honesty's the best policy but, jeez, have some freaking dignity.

Dolt of the Day

What game is she watching?

What is the Dolt of the Day ("DOTD") segment all about? We at TheMishMash.com introduced the feature in September 2007. Each day--well, almost each day--our team of expert editors sort through flickr.com's vast database of images and find that one, special boob who merits the Dolt of the Day ("DOTD") moniker.

We of course welcome your DOTD suggestions.

To see our past winners, click here.

"As I Was Walking Down the Street One Day..."

Don't they make support hose for that?

Is that Wilford Brimley?

Squeaky Wheel

Yeah, it's the squeaky wheel that gets the oil, but, hey, genius, who's that on the bike?

Bonus Dolt of the Day: the Bush Administration

Hey, we try to be as apolitical as possible here at TheMishMash.com, but, really, how asinine.

Apparently someone from within the Bush Administration leaked to reporters--before al-Qaeda itself intended to officially release it--bin Laden's September 2007 video. According to the Washington Post, the "premature disclosure tipped al-Qaeda to a security breach and destroyed a years-long surveillance operation...used to intercept and pass along secret messages, videos and advance warnings of suicide bombings from the terrorist group's communications network."

"Go to Church or the Devil Will Get You!"

Devout yet so psychotic:

Isn't That Special

Just warms the heart: father and sons out for a walk.

Since When Is Sodomy Merely Hazing?

According to the Deseret Morning News:

"Three [high school] football players have been arrested and charged in juvenile court after police say they forcibly held down other players and committed sex acts on them. The players eventually were kicked off the team.

The three defendants, all 15, each face multiple charges in 3rd District Juvenile Court, including forcible sodomy, attempted forcible sodomy and forcible sexual abuse, all first-degree felonies."

Here's the kicker:

"The incidents were being called hazing by some."

Huh? Maybe you could get away with calling it hazing at Rikers Island, but on a high school football team?

I Guess McDonalds Uses Real Chicken After All

Ms. Katherine Ortega of Newport News, Virginia wants to know how a fried chicken's head ended up in her box of McDonald's chicken.

Can I throw up now?

"Katherine Ortega, of Newport News, Virginia, says if she had not been looking closely she could have easily bitten into the head. The beak, cone and some feathers were still visible.

The mother wants to know how the head could have made it past inspectors and into the hands of a customer.

"I usually look at my food but I shouldn't have to look that closely to see that. My five-year-old probably wouldn't have looked. He probably would have thought it was a chicken leg and eaten it," she said.

Ms Ortega says she refused an offer from the manager at the restaurant for more chicken and the return of the chicken's head to the distribution company."

As reported by the local television news:

Tom Cruise: How Dare You Flatulate On My Set

According to New Zealand's Stuff.co.nz:

"Hollywood star Tom Cruise was left furious after a crew member on his latest film set passed wind during a minute's silence.

[Cruise] had paused filming to honour the anti-Nazi heroes portrayed in the movie when one employee decided to break wind during the tribute...

A source on the set told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: 'Fortunately the mystery gassy man didn't completely ruin the touching gesture...

[N]ow Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired.'"

Future Serial Killer

'Nuff said.

More Internet, Less Sex and Fewer Friends

According to a recent survey, Americans are giving up friends and sex for the Internet.