TheMishMash.com

Ubiquitous [-adj. being everywhere] Jesus

There's no escape.

1. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten ... high back armchair.

(Photo by AslanSRB).

2. "Because no matter what you do in life, [Jesus] takes Visa."

(Photo by lobsterstuffedwithtacos).

Reading Between the Lines: Bumper Sticker Edition

1. It says:

(Available here).

It means: I Fuck on the First Date.

2. It says:

(Available here).

It means: Bull Dyke Aboard

Hallowed Be Thy Name?

Depends who you ask. For example:

1. Is there anything he CAN'T do?

(Photo by Clyde Robinson).

2. Considering the whole 'risen from the dead' thing, it would certainly follow.

(Photo by Jacob Davies).

Religious Zealots Say the Darndest Things

They say...

1. That Hell is just beneath you, less than twenty miles away.

(Photo by Martin Sharman).

According to Pastor James Melton "the sphere of Hell is a round, hollowed-out place in the Earth's core...Scientists say that the Earth's outer crust is less than twenty miles thick, and that beyond that point, there [is] ... a lake of fire. [At] this very moment your eternal soul may be less than twenty miles from the burning fires of Hell!"

Pastor Melton's not alone. According to Dial-the-Truth Ministries, hell is unquestionably inside of the Earth. "The great pit [of] hell would only need to be about 100 miles or less in diameter to contain, with much room to spare, all the forty billion or so people who have ever lived, assuming their spiritual bodies are the same size as their physical bodies."

2. That the earth is stationary; the universe in fact orbits the Earth.

(Photo by NASA).

According to the Fair Education Foundation, the universe, "the stars, every 23 hours and 56 minutes...go around a stationary Earth."

The Association for Biblical Astronomy believes similarly.

You're an Intolerant Tool If...

1. You really think it's that simple.

(Photo by Abbyladybug).

2. You hawk pre-Civil War era garbage.

(Photo by Jacob Krejci).

(Photo by Kaleidoscope).

The Darkie items are not museum pieces; they were actually marketed by the Colgate-Palmolive Company as recently as 1988.

Here I Come to Save the Day, er...I mean, Your Soul!

Forget Mighty Mouse, it's Bibleman!

(Photo by Frozenmeat).

Who's Bibleman? He's a "human transformed by the Word of God." Duh.

Bibleman, his "faithful sidekick Cypher" and Biblegirl are available as action figures and can be seen on DVD in such classics as Tuning Out the Unholy Hero,  Breaking the Bonds of Disobedience and Conquering the Wrath of Rage.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

"We're on a Mission from God...[the Rest of You Will Burn in Hell]"

All religions have those select few who, let's say, lack a sense of moderation. For example:

1. Good for one or two children's nightmares.

(Photo by Itatton).

2. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

(Photo by Afroswede).

9 Telltale Signs You're Probably an Asshole

1. You wildly overstate your case.

2. You act as if the rules don't apply to you.

A Low-Cost, Effective Response to a Hateful Ignoramus

The simple solution is oftentimes the most effective.

Bumper Stickers Only an Infantile Boob Could Love

Which explains our interest in them.

1. So disturbed, yet so...disturbed.

2. Much funnier than "Saudi Arabia Loves Your Gas Guzzler"

9 'Signs' You Need a Shrink

1. There's what in the where?!

2. "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train..."

"Go to Church or the Devil Will Get You!"

Devout yet so psychotic:

Isn't That Special

Just warms the heart: father and sons out for a walk.

Future Serial Killer

'Nuff said.