TheMishMash.com

Ba Da Ba Ba Baa...

(Photo by Jason Weill).

Taken at the McDonald's on the corner of Madison St. and Minor Ave. in Seattle, WA. Thanks again, Jason.

10 Fascinatingly Atypical 'Curb Your Dog' Signs

1. The Rastafarians have a way with words.

(Photo by anthonyturducken).

2. Of course the Lutherans are more staid about matters.

(Photo by .ian).

Be Seated? 12 Chairs You May Wish You Had Never Seen

1. Crate & Barrel this is not.

(Photo by Gareth Hacking).

Chairman Mao by Gerald Scarfe.

2. Form-fitting, yes, but one wrong shift and ooft.

8 Gag Gifts Sure to Enrage Even the Most Sedate Homophobe

1. Vinnie the Stallion Plush Toy. He's "Vinnie the Stallion [and he's] got a big ole salami..."

2. Wireless Mega-Power Vibrating C0ck Ring

15 T-Shirts You'd Hate to See on Your Daughter's Boyfriend

1. "I like long walks on the beach...after anal."

Available for purchase here.

2. "The Impregnator"

Available for purchase here.

"As I Was Walking Down the Street [Another] Day..."

1. Cabbage Patch Dolls for the juvenile delinquent.

(Photo by Abra Frankel).

2. Gives a whole, new meaning to the phrase One Stop Shopping.

(Photo by Kim Ripley).

'[A Few Additional] Words of the Prophets Were Written on the Bathroom Stalls'

We had so much fun with the first set of bathroom wall humor that we thought we post a couple more, to wit:

1. No wiser words have ever been spoken.

(Photo by Jennifer Joyce).

2. In the same vein as, "Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head."

(Photo by Sarah Glidden).

'And the Words of the Prophets Were Written on the Bathroom Stalls'

1. "Don't hate me because I am beautiful. Hate me because I did your Dad."

(Photo by Ed Hoover).

2. Tony Robbins channels Hervé Villechaize.

(Photo by Knightwise).

So Many Signs, So Little Time

1. Certainly covers all bases.

(Photo by loungelistener).

2. And a Happy New Year.

(Photo by David Mongeau-Petitpas).

7 Places You Hope You Never See a...Sphincter?

You hope you never see a sphincter...

1. Anywhere you'd eat.

That didn't deter, however, artist Atelier Van Lieshout from creating the the Bar Rectum, which "takes its shape from the human digestive system: starting with the tongue, continuing to the stomach, moving through the small and the large intestines and exiting through the anus...The anus itself is part of a large door that doubles as an emergency exit."

Yummy.

2. Anywhere you keep your lipstick.

The larger image is even more unsettling.

(Photograph taken by The Kozy Shack).

No Wonder Some Animals Eat Their Own Young

Raising kids, though difficult, is incredibly rewarding. Difficult how, you ask? Let us show you the ways.

1. Today must must have been Dad's day to babysit.

2. Let's hope he doesn't use the bathtub as a toilet.

Flunked (cont'd)

"Fok you you fokin' fok!"

BUY 'EM: Roger That! Handmade Cards

These are our kind of cards. From the Roger That! website:

"Roger That! provides you with warped retro greeting cards for every possible (and not so possible) occasion!"

For example:

"As I Was Walking Down the Street One Day..."

Don't they make support hose for that?

Is that Wilford Brimley?

20th Century Graffiti and Vandalism for the Discriminating Rube: A Visual Retrospective

1. For a Limited Time Only!

2. "I wish my wife were this dirty." Don't we all.

Squeaky Wheel

Yeah, it's the squeaky wheel that gets the oil, but, hey, genius, who's that on the bike?

Sunday's Dolt of the Day ("DOTD")

A special thanks to Easy Gif Animator, without which TheMishMash.com could not have created this very special Dolt animation.

What is the Dolt of the Day ("DOTD") segment all about? We at TheMishMash.com introduced the feature in September 2007. Each day--well, almost each day--our team of expert editors sort through flickr.com's vast database of images and find that one, special boob who merits the Dolt of the Day ("DOTD") moniker.

We of course welcome your DOTD suggestions.

To see our past winners, click here.

Carrot Top's Next Look

Courtesy of tmz.com, with all of Carrot Top's recent plastic surgery, this is too funny:

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

The Verisimilitude of the PoopReport.com

Who doesn't like a funny story about poop every now and then? From poopreport.com hall-of-famer The Mastercrapper comes:

The Mastercrap

"It probably was the filthiest bathroom I've ever seen, but I just squatted down to let loose. I knew I had to spread my legs wide to let out the Master, so I stepped out of one leg of my khakis, even though the cuffs dragged in the filthy water on the grimy tiles. And then, with a grumble and a roar, the Master arrived..."

and Lady and the Cramp

"In the bathroom next to the kitchen, I took a leak, trying to make space for the growing, rancorous mass in my midsection. I was pretty sure I could clamp my buttlips tight enough to contain my crap -- at least for now -- but what would I do about the hurricane of flatulence brewing within me? With my trou still unbuttoned, I decided to let off some steam. I bent at the waist and twisted my torso a little bit, as if I were looking over my shoulder at something interesting, and I farted out a maniacal, soprano jet of bilious wrath. I didn't shit in (or on) my pants, but the thick wet stink that came out was a prediction of something awful, a terrible beast, snarling and clawing and fighting to be free. And, oh, how the vapor burned as it escaped!"

From Pill Pooper:

On the Job Straining

"I tend to be an extremely shameful shitter. I will go as far as waiting for my girlfriend to leave the house before I decide to drop a big doot. If you've read any of my previous poop reports, you will know the severity to which I am speaking. Under NO circumstances will I ever shit in a public bathroom. I'd rather shit my pants and lie in my own filth then defecate in a public toilet. Insane? Sure. But we all have our problems; mine just happens to be public shitting."

All classics in their own right. Enjoy!

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

From The Smoking Gun, enjoy these actual mugshots.

Busted for abusing harmful intoxicants, Mr. Patrick Tribett:

And Mr. Jon Matteson, arrested for DUI:

"Did I just hear that?"

From Overheard in New York:

The Buddha Was a Tough Kid to Raise

Mother: Don't you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]
Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?

--Union Square

Another:

Take, Eat, This is My Body

Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she's still a virgin because she's only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.

--New York Public Library, 40th & 5th

And finally:

I Meant Nowhere White People Would Want to Go

Blond Tourist Bimbo: I've never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it's a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.

--G train Hoyt/Schermerhorn station