TheMishMash.com

Ubiquitous [-adj. being everywhere] Jesus

There's no escape.

1. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten ... high back armchair.

(Photo by AslanSRB).

2. "Because no matter what you do in life, [Jesus] takes Visa."

(Photo by lobsterstuffedwithtacos).

9 Weird Public Art Displays That Surprisingly Don't Suck

It's said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and for purposes of this feature, in all our puerility, we're the beholders. We present then nine weird public art displays/exhibits that, in our lowly opinion, surprisingly don't suck.

1. Jane Alexander's Butcher Boys. Good for a nightmare or two.

(Photo by barbie in spyland).

2. Luckily for fans of the movie Alien, HR Giger had issues. From the HR Giger Museum in Gruyères, Switzerland:

(Photo by Republicanito).

According to the Museum: "It was Giger’s popular art book, Necronomicon, that caught the eye of director Ridley Scott as he was searching for the right look for a creature in his upcoming film. That creature, of course, turned out to be the Alien, and Giger’s masterful designs for the film of the same name garnered him a much-deserved Academy Award."

10 Fascinatingly Atypical 'Curb Your Dog' Signs

1. The Rastafarians have a way with words.

(Photo by anthonyturducken).

2. Of course the Lutherans are more staid about matters.

(Photo by .ian).

Never Before Seen: Mannequin's Cesarean Birth?

I'm at a loss for words.

(Photo by Stéfan).

(Photo by Stéfan).

She's Got a Way with Words

Jenny Holzer is an American artist whose main focus "is the use of words and ideas in [a] public space." Above is a compilation of her Truisms.

She's got a way with words.

Maybe at This Dosage It's Effective

(Photo by KitschKat).

Though it depends who you ask.

11 Neighbors from Hell

Thank god for zoning laws, covenants and deed restrictions.

1. So that's where the bodies are buried.

(Photo by DistortedSmile).

The full-size image is even scarier.

2. Is it a pool or a baptistry?

(Photo by Digital_Freak).

Coming Soon to a Child's Nightmare Near You

(Photo by Mike Osswald).

Parents, here's a suggestion: stick with Chuck E. Cheese.

A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet?

Shakespeare wrote: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." Whether you agree depends on many factors. For example:

1. Meet Virginia ob-gyn Dr. Harry Beaver.

2. God help former Detroit Tiger Rusty Kuntz.

Quintessential Renaissance Man?

Leonardo da Vinci he is not.

(Photo by Furyk).

"As I Was Walking Down the Street [Another] Day..."

1. Cabbage Patch Dolls for the juvenile delinquent.

(Photo by Abra Frankel).

2. Gives a whole, new meaning to the phrase One Stop Shopping.

(Photo by Kim Ripley).

[Who] Do You Get When You Cross...?

It's hard to forget Seth Brundle's transformation in the movie The Fly. Cross a fly with a human and sim sim salabim Brundlefly. We've taken the idea a moronic step further, to wit:

1. Who do you get when you cross Seinfeld's Lt. Bookman, Bob Marley and Marilu Henner?

God help us.

(Photo by Omsel A).

2. Elton John, Amy Winehouse and Michael Kinsley?

It's showtime!

(Photo by Sea Turtle).

Mix 'n Match

What do you get when you cross Barbara Eden, RuPaul and Patrick Stewart?

An effing mess, that's what.

Absolute Worst Product Package...Ever

(Photo by Kate Raynes-Goldie).

Our advice? Whether it's a flower or not, avoid reference to the feline anus.

12 Action Figures for the Deviate Who Has Everything

1. Parents, for the budding serial-killer in your brood, it's 'My Little Victims' and features 'realistic dismemberment action.'

2. In tribute to legendary tenor and 'Killer Queen,' it's the Freddie Mercury action figure. (Gay bathhouse sold separately.)

16 Headstones That Make You Go Hmmmm...

"Show me your cemeteries, and I will tell you what kind of people you have."  --Benjamin Franklin

1. Either Mr. Green was a real comedian or just an as$h*le.

2. The White family seemed truly grieved to lose their Raymond.

Redwood Tree, 823, Snared in Public Indecency Sting

Bail Set at $90,000; Lawyer Expects No Contest Plea as Early as Friday

12 Products From Hell

1. This is the most unappetizing food label ever printed.

The close-up is even more disturbing. From Kostelecké Uzeniny.

2. He 'brakes for cycles.' Behold Vinnie's Tampon Case

Me Tarzan, you Jane. No, wait, you Tarzan, me...

Meet professional bodybuilder Dayana Cadeau, who placed 2nd in this year's Ms. Olympia in Las Vegas. We're sure she's an incredibly hard-working and motivated young lady and of course don't know whether she uses performance-enhancing drugs, but...

Steroids do not do a body good.

Dolt of the Day: 'Snaggletooth Sally'

Yikes.

10 Halloween Costumes That Are Just Sick and Wrong

Halloween approaches and 'tis the season for, well, see for yourself:

1. Pie Shorts

2. 'Child Mac Daddy Suit With Hat'

Elephants Burp? Who Knew!

I wouldn't have believed it unless I saw/heard it myself.

Burping Elephant

"Did I just hear that?"

From Overheard in New York:

The Buddha Was a Tough Kid to Raise

Mother: Don't you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]
Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?

--Union Square

Another:

Take, Eat, This is My Body

Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she's still a virgin because she's only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.

--New York Public Library, 40th & 5th

And finally:

I Meant Nowhere White People Would Want to Go

Blond Tourist Bimbo: I've never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it's a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.

--G train Hoyt/Schermerhorn station

 

More Carnies

For all you Midwesterners, take a walk down memory lane with Notley Hawkins's Carnivals, Festivals and Fairs of Missouri photos.

Gotta Love Carnies

These two maintain the kiddie rides?