"Show me your cemeteries, and I will tell you what kind of people you have." --Benjamin Franklin
1. Either Mr. Green was a real comedian or just an as$h*le.
2. The White family seemed truly grieved to lose their Raymond.
3. Speak for yourself, Mr. Dreher.
4. A little melodramatic possibly?
5. "The world of Chinese restaurant jokes has never recovered from his death." --Mr. Ducke
6. Always the last word with this one...
7. Good for Clement
8. Craigslist meets the Grim Reaper
9. Who was this guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger?
10. I thought an epitaph was supposed to honor the deceased?
11. Maybe Naomi was 'difficult.'
12. Call CSI. How does a dung fork fall and 'penetrate the brain' without a little help?
13. Love the acronym, Dr. Frank.
14. ???
15. Sorry, we couldn't resist including this:
16. Our favorite, Mr. Fast Eddy, who "did it [his] way and wound up here."
hmm I really liked the clement one.
Posted by: Temporary Death | November 05, 2007 at 05:54 PM
Thats so depressing...
Posted by: Alex | November 05, 2007 at 05:55 PM
Depressing is the fact that most of these pictures were photoshopped. :-(
Posted by: foo | November 05, 2007 at 06:08 PM
why do idiots always call photoshop, learn to spot that shit before saying anything idiot
Posted by: asshole | November 05, 2007 at 06:17 PM
Hmmmm...
So many people around, some of them are just special.
Posted by: Jokes | November 05, 2007 at 06:17 PM
foo, most are shopped....idiot
Posted by: braineater | November 05, 2007 at 06:28 PM
I was hiking in the woods and stumbled upon this freaky headstone.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/richardbronosky/191690339/
Posted by: Richard Bronosky | November 05, 2007 at 06:39 PM
it's photoshopped and also kind of lame. I have seen funnier real headstones.
Posted by: delfin1 | November 05, 2007 at 06:46 PM
In reference to who #9 was. He was a gunfighter in Texas and fough during the Civil War. Apparently killed enough to be remembered as a gunfighter. Guess his tombstone fits.
Posted by: Mike | November 05, 2007 at 06:47 PM
I guess writing one's own epitath is kind of the pre-emptive strike of granitic embellishment.
Posted by: Kevin | November 05, 2007 at 07:10 PM
The "I told you I was sick" (or in fact "I told you I was ill")has been a joke of British comedian Spike Milligan since the 1960's. Sadly no-one put it on his tombstone !
Posted by: | November 05, 2007 at 07:14 PM
On #1
1) GREEN - First of all, the comment from the first is from just a 16 year old... (1985-2001)
- he was telling the truth -
The PRESIDENT of USA was BUSH in 2001, then Mr Green is RIGHT... He definitely lived around DUMB PEOPLE , that elected BUSH!!!...
Posted by: FreeBrain | November 05, 2007 at 07:31 PM
http://www.flickr.com/photos/joshuabuck/1881395276/
Posted by: jbuck | November 05, 2007 at 07:44 PM
seems that several people have used the "I told you I was sick" epitaph. this one is from a cemetary in key west
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jsalvado74/159251449/
Posted by: Joao | November 05, 2007 at 07:54 PM
Um, yeah, "she hath done what she could" is actually a bible quotation, so it's not as bad as it seems, I guess.
Posted by: agi | November 05, 2007 at 08:05 PM
I think the main reasons for the contradictions were because Tom Jefferson took into account arguments of both the farmers and the merchants. An example of this was when in one sentence Jefferson calls the slaves both equal and inferior. He also talks about how beautiful they are, but were also “made” for slavery. With this and the rest of the document I believe that Tom Jefferson was against slavery, but didn’t want the problems with the South if he abolished it.
Posted by: APUS | November 05, 2007 at 09:19 PM
how about the hidden message in this one: http://www.elyxr.com/cherrybox/headstone1.JPG
Posted by: elyxr | November 05, 2007 at 09:30 PM
Nice little collection, even if I'm not shopping for one ATM.
Groucho Marx wanted "Excuse me, I can't stand up", but settled for the boring "Groucho Marx 1890-1977".
To Kevin:
Spike Milligan did get "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite." on his stone, which is Irish for "I told you I was ill."
Posted by: Mondariz | November 06, 2007 at 12:06 AM
funny stuff!!! hahaha
Posted by: jason | November 06, 2007 at 08:41 AM
Robert "Clay" Allison was a Civil War vet. and a gunfighter in the Old West. He was an Arnold of his day, although I dunno if he could impale a man with a steam pipe
Posted by: Monco | November 06, 2007 at 03:03 PM
Mr Green wasn't older than 16, so I doubt he was that big of an asshole that he/someone wanted it on his gravestone. I'd say it's an inside joke, or something.
5. cracked me up. I know it's horrible, but I can't help it.
6. I love.
10. "I thought an epitaph was supposed to honor the deceased?" What's wrong with this one, dead? Doesn't it say "She did what she could?" I think it's a very good epitath.
14. I also like.
Posted by: Stella Polaris | November 07, 2007 at 12:30 PM
To the moron that wanted 'proof' that it was photoshopped, look at ANY of the ones that were dated early (1800's is a prime example) now look at how ALL the letters are the same...exactly the same. Since I'm pretty sure they didn't have laser inscription back then photoshop is the logical conclusion
Posted by: Common sense | November 07, 2007 at 11:05 PM
#4 is in Salt Lake City. She was the victim of a failed exorcism... True story.
Posted by: Astaroth | November 08, 2007 at 12:54 PM
There is a book called "The Final Word" by Nancy Millar that covers all the non-standard epitaphs. You can get it from Amazon!
Posted by: Siong | November 09, 2007 at 02:47 PM
@Stella Polaris
Just because people today can neither write legibly nor spell correctly does not mean they were photoshoped. Only two are 20th century, and the one with the dung fork, who today is going to make up "dung fork" (A pitchfork mucking ungulate poop out of stalls.)
Posted by: Doug | November 09, 2007 at 08:56 PM