10 Bathroom Placards for the Uncommonly Stupid

1. I accept!

(Photo by Kirsten Kirkpatrick).

2. Translation? "You! Out of the gene pool!"

(Photo by Henning Schürig).

3. You don't say?

(Photo by Mik P).

4. Larry Craig, are you paying attention?

(Photo by Reubs).

5. I'd hate to see the instructions for the 'stupid people toilet.'

(Photo by Patrick).

6. Had Tony Robbins been a bathroom attendant:

(Photo by Kevin Hutchinson).

7. I guess the NY Post is OK.

(Photo by Henry C).

8. Got Matches?

(Photo by Paul Tweedy).

9. Inspiration for the South Park episode Urinal Deuce?

(Photo by Just Ossendorp).

10. God, it may be time to thin the herd.

(Photo by Catcher & Co).

Comments

[Jack Kerouac]

That last one looks fake

[Lazlo Toth]

Uh, there's nothing stupid about #1, except for you putting it here because you're totally ignorant about other cultures.

You squat over traditional Asian toilets. It's a little bit badly translated, but it makes perfect sense to instruct people in an Asian country whether they're using a Western or Eastern style toilet.

Travel. See the world. It'll broaden your mind. Of course, so will putting your head in the bowl and flushing a few times.

[mmmmk]

haha funny stuff unless you have traveled outside the us or eu, where you'll be shocked at the different way people handle this stuff... most of the world craps in a hole in the ground or in the bush... many ppl are horrified that we crap indoors for instance... that spreads disease where they're from, its totally against anything they've ever considered, so even with a modern flush toilet they consider crapping indoors a major tabooo... no wonder some of these signs, you can tell they're from 2nd and 3rd world, but the best one is the army base one

[Dave]

I'd love to know what a 'stupid people toilet' looks like.

[Woeful]

We could use many of these signs where I work... @ the Library!

[Gail Purves]

I like the one i saw in a truck stop that had been put over the Urinal
It said:

"Please do not throw cigarette butts in toilet."

Below this, someone had written with an ink pen:

"It makes them soggy and hard to light"

[Aaron]

Said picture are for Americans only.

[Karl]

There is something stupid about number one, if you can't see what's stupid you're one of those people who believes that stereotypes are racist regardless of the fact that they're true. Take your own advice and see more of the world until you can see the humour from the outside looking in and you'll realise that a whole lot of problems could be solved by a little laughter and that a lot of things we do every day really do defy common sense, and really, how stupid is the basic concept of crapping in doors in the same building we eat and sleep in. The gods must be crazy.

[Eddie]

I remember the first time my wife encountered an Asian "squatter" toilet. She opened the door, stood there staring at it for a minute, closed the door, turned to me, and said, "OK. So what do I do?"

[shacas]

This is a crock of shit!

[Frac]

My favourite was a note written on a condom machine:
"Insert Baby For Refund"

[LOU*LOU]

I remember one from years ago in a restaurant men's room: "WE AIM TO PLEASE. PLEASE AIM".

[ummyea]

i believe its
"we aim to please. you aim too, please"

[Random Crapology]

"funny stuff unless you have traveled outside the us or eu,"

Hey, even in the eu, the "hole in the ground" toilets are fairly common in e.g. outdoory sites in france and occasionally britain+ireland, where you get porcelain-lined and even flushing "holes" (rather than thrones).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squat_toilet

They're even considered more sanitary by many eu folk, since you don't touch things, just squat/perch over the hole. And as your cheeks spread wider (since you're squatting to crap as nature quite clearly intended for humans, if you've never tried it), you don't have to wipe nearly as much. (And don't get me started on the weird american habit of crumpling up huge wads of toilet paper to wipe instead of using a few neatly folded sheets).

[Gary]

why not
"we aim to please, please aim to wee."

[John]

I'm sure I've seen a Euro chick with the chinese characters from the first sign tattooed on her back.

[isaak]

ummyeah said, "And don't get me started on the weird american habit of crumpling up huge wads of toilet paper to wipe instead of using a few neatly folded sheets"

How often do you watch Americans poop? Is there some satellite TV channel I don't know about?

[elle]

How often do you watch Americans poop? Is there some satellite TV channel I don't know about?

I don't want to know about that satellite channel...

[effbee]

I saw one that said:
Your hose is short,
Your pump is weak,
Stand a lil closer,
Or you'll piss on your feet!

[firefly67]

If American bathrooms had bidets in them as many Italian ones do, one wouldn't need to use tons of paper. It's a good way to be clean without putting a lot of waste paper into the septic system.

And in some places in Turkey, the loo is still pretty much a hole in the tile floor. Works fine as long as you can squat a bit.

But considering some American bathrooms I've had to visit, instructions DO appear to be required.

[malfred]

Why is everyone harping on American bathrooms? Everyone else in the world seems to be more in-tune with our bowel functions than we are. That's a disturbing trend -- why do you care so much about my bowels?

I've been in plenty of bathrooms around the world that made me wish I could sterilize my feet afterward.

Hell, half of these signs could be posted on the sidewalks and metros of Paris and not lose any relevance. They'd still be pretty damn funny, too (maybe not for the French).

[taxpayer2]

One of the very first web sites was a site devoted to 'Public Bathrooms in Tokyo'. It was maintained by a Tokyo native. Each was a more filthy mess than the other.
There is a book titled "Under the Golden Arches" with essays written by natives of the countries into which McDonalds opened new stores. In each essay, you learn that among other things, McDonalds taught that culture about sanitation.
So please write down all your PC sensitivity statements about the sacred bathroom habits of the rest of the world, fold that paper five ways and put it where the sun don't shine.

[cal]

here another great chinglish toilet sign http://www.flickr.com/photos/istefan/461247765/

[mg]

"Shitstick"?!? The Stupid People Toilet?! Where does LTC Feagin take a crap?

[poet]

I once saw this poem written on a toilet cubicle door that can only be read when sitting on the wc. It was a protest against all the lousy graffiti poems even penned on toilet walls and doors. It went like this:

"When all you shithouse poets die
Let there be erected in the sky
A monument to your tremendous wit
A great big pile of solid shit"