1. She looks into your eyes and says, "No one has ever made me feel quite the way you do." From across the ordering counter you respond, "Thanks. I'll have a venti machiatto, extra shot please."
(Photo by Kat Kirk).
2. While leaving the movie theater you hear someone shout, "150 yards Goddamnit! 150 yards!" To your surprise she screams back, "Inadvertent contact, Bill! Inadvertent!"
3. Before you’re even home from your first date, she's left four voice mails, sent two text messages and called your best friend to ask where you're at.
(Photo by Francisca Ulloa).
4. When she smiles there's always lipstick on her teeth.
5. Ten minutes after sex she's picking out baby names.
(Photo by Dyelbi).
6. The first time you meet her parents, you overhear her Dad mutter, "Poor bastard."
7. On your first date she tells her seven year old to call you Dad.
(Photo by Becky).
8. She threatens to beat your 66 year old secretary’s ass because she smiled at you.
9. She starts way too many sentences with, “My P.O. says…”
(Photo by Gisela Giardino).
10. She has twelve tattoos, eleven of them covering up old boyfriends' names...poorly.
11. Her bathroom reading materials include the books 'Schizophrenia and You: a Biblical Solution' and 'Women Who Beat the Men Who Love Them'.
(Photo by Claire).
[Thanks so much to the models/photographers, all who very graciously granted TheMishMash.com permission to use their work/likenesses.]
This is mega interesting about awesome
Posted by: Linsay | January 15, 2008 at 08:38 AM
Crazytime means keep away! - Eric Monse
Posted by: Eric Monse | January 15, 2008 at 01:33 PM
Women can be damn scary. Hilarious post, helped me get through the day! Can't stand women that are always threatening to fight.
Posted by: The World's Smartest Man | January 15, 2008 at 04:57 PM
While humorous, these have actually occurred -- One even applies to myself. Yeah, stay far away from the types mentioned above.
Posted by: Ronald Lewis | January 15, 2008 at 05:02 PM
Dated one of those once. Had to threaten to call JAG before she stopped calling me.
Posted by: Nathan V | January 15, 2008 at 05:02 PM
Great photos! Really love them.
Posted by: Sarah | January 15, 2008 at 05:10 PM
1 or 2 of those bring back unwelcome memories...
Posted by: chris | January 15, 2008 at 05:34 PM
WAIT. People on the internet have girlfriends?
Cheap joke, couldn't help myself.
Posted by: Brendan | January 15, 2008 at 06:08 PM
hahaha the pictures are great and your comments so FUNNY!!
Posted by: BlueTurtle | January 15, 2008 at 10:15 PM
this hits the spot man. All women have a thing about becoming mothers and naming kids. should have added one more point,
Photoshopping your pictures together to make pictures of your unborn children.
:P
N
Posted by: Nothingman | January 15, 2008 at 11:56 PM
Funny Link...
Posted by: Keith | January 16, 2008 at 12:23 AM
what's up with the one about the lipstick on her teeth? My gf does that...
Posted by: matt | January 16, 2008 at 12:50 AM
Every picture on this page serve as perfect reminders that all women are insane. Don't ever make me look at them again.
Posted by: Professor Riffs | January 16, 2008 at 09:05 AM
you forgot #12: She tries to administer a personality test claiming that L. Ron Hubbard is the messiah.
Posted by: John doe | January 16, 2008 at 09:24 AM
Lame. That's really all I can think of. You're not all that creative - how about coming up with something original? The topic itself could have been written about in a much more clever way, but you chose to (as so many others) write in a "just catchy enough" fashion as to get Digg'ed. Is that really the point? Let's get Digg'ed & make some cash from click-through ads? How about a new article - I'll help you along... 11 TellTale signs that you are most DEFINITELY a tool:
11 - Even though most people would count backwards (as is the trend) when putting an "11 Telltale BLAH BLAH BLAH" list together, I proceed to count from 1 to 11 instead of 11 to 1.
10 - While actual insight counts for something, I'll just wing it. Don't try to be original or creative! Let's just state a bunch of obvious things I've heard from my college friends!
9 - When you go home to meet her parents they say, "Holy Crap - That guy's a definite tool!", and her dad commences to give you a serious ass-whooping based purely on principle.
8 - You fantasize about tall hairy men in tights. What's worse is that you miss your fantasies when you're awake.
7 - You often refer to yourself as "Damn hilarious", but you know deep down inside that not only are you greatly removed from "hilarious", the funniest thing you can think of is when your brother beat the crap out of you, yanked your underwear down to your ankles, and then called you a "little cutie pie". But you liked it...
6 - None of your so called "friends" really like you - they just tolerate you while you have room on your $187.00 limit Visa card at the local craphole bar.
5 - You're obviously a douche... and you know it - but it's tough to admit the truth, isn't it? Here's your new mantra... DOUCHE...DOUCHE...DOUCHE...
4 - You really wish you'd taken the chance to nail that sorta-decent-looking chick in eleventh grade, but you had to bail to go to a D&D convention because you were "saving" yourself for the cheerleader that didn't even know you were composed of anything other than fecal matter. By the way - the sorta-decent-looking chick would have screwed you SEVENTEEN times that particular day (one of which would have included you actually penetrating her with you 3.6 inch penis) and you could have lived the rest of your life with her and been extremely happy.
3 - Aside from an occasional make-up snafu, females have lipstick on their teeth from blowing guys. Aside from you, that is because you're not really all that into it, are you?
2 - See number 5.
1 - Your bathroom materials include Vogue, Playboy (because Penthouse is just waaay too dirty), and a bunch of used Kleenexes you forgot to throw away after you saw the latest Home Depot ad.
So in conclusion, leave the writing to those who have graduated from high school, M-Kay?
Posted by: Just a dude | January 16, 2008 at 10:24 AM
She's "down with the clown"...that's all sorts of trouble. juggalette=craziest gf ever.
Posted by: T | January 16, 2008 at 10:56 AM
Way to be a candy-ass and not post my comment. Pussy.
Posted by: Just a dude | January 16, 2008 at 01:11 PM
As long as she's above the Vickie Mendoza diagonal on the crazy/hot scale.
Posted by: Hugh Jass | January 16, 2008 at 01:42 PM
Some women just go way to far...I didn't like the fact of my wallet sized photo being taped to the end of one of her "private" toys...thats just scary.
Posted by: Sinbad | January 16, 2008 at 02:50 PM
Hi, I see that you are also monetizing your blog using adsense like I do. I just found a similar service but with audio ads and also pays for every visitor as opposed to every click. This looks like a good oppurtunity and is open till the 1st of Feb 2008. So if you would like to cash in, pl check Monetize your Blog
Posted by: playah | January 17, 2008 at 06:53 PM