Religious Zealots Say the Darndest Things

They say...

1. That Hell is just beneath you, less than twenty miles away.

(Photo by Martin Sharman).

According to Pastor James Melton "the sphere of Hell is a round, hollowed-out place in the Earth's core...Scientists say that the Earth's outer crust is less than twenty miles thick, and that beyond that point, there [is] ... a lake of fire. [At] this very moment your eternal soul may be less than twenty miles from the burning fires of Hell!"

Pastor Melton's not alone. According to Dial-the-Truth Ministries, hell is unquestionably inside of the Earth. "The great pit [of] hell would only need to be about 100 miles or less in diameter to contain, with much room to spare, all the forty billion or so people who have ever lived, assuming their spiritual bodies are the same size as their physical bodies."

2. That the earth is stationary; the universe in fact orbits the Earth.

(Photo by NASA).

According to the Fair Education Foundation, the universe, "the stars, every 23 hours and 56 minutes...go around a stationary Earth."

The Association for Biblical Astronomy believes similarly.

3. That if you speed, you're going to hell.

(Photo by Raysto).

This, according to the End-Time Deliverance Ministry, which states:

"Is speeding a sin?  Yes, and sin cannot get into Heaven." Not surprisingly, they aren't the only ones with such beliefs.

4. That the SpongeBob Squarepants Movie was sexually immoral because, among other things, it revealed too much cartoon butt.

5. That "homosexuals reproduce sexually by molesting children."

(Photo by Yann Caradec).

6. That dinosaurs did not live millions of years ago but rather "date from around 6,000 years ago—the approximate date of creation obtained by adding up the years in the Bible."

(Photo by Bret Arnett).

And of course the corollary is that the earth, rather than being billions of years old, "has an age measured in only thousands of years, just as the Bible teaches."

7. That gays, the ACLU, abortionists and feminists are to blame for the September 11th terrorist attacks.

(Photo by Hiro).

Thank you, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.

Comments

[anonymous]

i actually think some of them are true..like the dinosaurs...and the hell at the core thing..its possible you know...and if you believe in the Bible.. :)

[Atheist]

People are dumb.....I don't know what else to say.....my kid wouldn't even believe in some of that stuff.

http://www.atheistrevolution.com

There are plenty of days that you could make me believe that hell is right here on the surface!

The Bible doesn't say anything about Hell being on or in the earth. It also says the Earth will be destroyed some day. So, if Hell was on it, it would also be destroyed.

As for the dinosaurs (still according to the Bible), God created Adam as an adult. He had the power to create the earth with a "history", with fossils and planets and everything that "be" 4,5 billion years old, don't you think?

[phil]

Speeding IS a sin, it's breaking the laws of man. And we can have our sins forgiven by believing in Jesus Christ, who died as payment for our sins and rose again. So you don't go to hell for speeding, you go to hell for the sum total of all the sin you commit in a lifetime without accepting Christ's offer of forgiveness.

[Human]

God says it took seven days to create the Earth, but does he literally mean seven days? What would be considered seven days to God? A Millions of years?
As for seventh Zealot comment, sorry can't think of anything to say, too busy laughing.

[aki]

"i actually think some of them are true..like the dinosaurs...and the hell at the core thing..its possible you know...and if you believe in the Bible.. :)"

Dumb.

[derrick]

it would seem that if God made the earth to look much older than it actually is, He is a deceitful God. that seems like a bigger stretch than just believing that the Bible isn't scientifically accurate.

and actually, the idea of hell being in the middle of the earth is only implicit, not explicit, in the bible. and the earth won't be destroyed by fire; it will be cleansed. fire is always a purifying force in the bible. all of heaven comes back to this renewed earth in orthodox theology.

it's bad when the post makes fun of the stupid things that christians believe, and then the peanut gallery chimes in to make us look dumber. i don't think the post was fair. these are the beliefs of fundamentalists, not zealots. i'm a zealot. but i'm also an evolutionist.

[Kris]

So what your saying is we can save the environment by sending some serial killer to hell with some drilling gear to produce a geothermal power generator?

Strange how someone can make an unobservable physical hypothesis attached to their religion (hell is real and inside earth) and ignore observable ones (earth and the sun and the stars and all that).

I need to find some sane people in this country.

[Roberto]

"homosexuals reproduce sexually by molesting children."

I thought that was how priests reproduced.

[Scott Fanetti]

I cannot believe people could still believe such drivel. If they just considered for a moment the fact that all supernatural phenomena are bullshit with no evidence for truth in any way, they would see that these myths are just stories told by credulous people to explain away their lack of knowledge about the world.

What is really disgusting are the preachers - that know they are using the rubes - who work hard to keep their "flocks" stupid and obedient. They terrify me.

If there were evidence for any of the above, it should be involved in the conversation. Let's take a look at this:

http://www.creationists.org/livedinos01.html

Like it or not, the evidence is worth examining and discussing.

[IPv6Freely]

haha wow. Not only are the things in the post hillarious, but there are actually people dumb enough to post comments like "it's possible you know" (no, I don't know, because somebody who is uneducated such as yourself has no way of knowing such things) and another comment babbling on about jesus. And they wonder why we make fun of them?

[Seeker]

Some of this is pretty funny, although I hate that posts like this tend to lump all "religious" people into the same boat of crazy/idiotic people.

For anyone who is wondering what the Bible is really about, then you're going to have to change your mindset a little bit more. Simple facts about the location of Hell and the timeline of the Earth are not the vein of the Bible. It was written by different people living in different centuries, yet it all is dealing with the same subject: the preparation for, birth of, death of, and resurrection of Christ. If anyone is interested in studying what the Bible is really about, you need to be learning about Christ, and especially about his life on Earth, the claims he made about who he was. The only way to debunk Christianity is to debunk Christ.

[Scott Fanetti]

Oh my - I have greek pottery in my local museum that PROVES that minotaurs exist. Not only that but we have PROOF that the sun is a guy riding a chariot of fire across the dome of the sky -- there are several statutes that tell the whole story.

Dip$hit - find some fossil rabbits in the Precambrian and I MIGHT be swayed by your "evidence".

[Mars Sentinel]

OMMFG you people are wack jobs. Christianity is a mishmash religion and your Savior is the freaking Sun God Horus from Egypt. Do your homework during the week and you wont be so easily fooled on Sunday (SUN-day).

[Scott Fanetti]

There is no objective evidence for the existence of Jesus Christ. Every book in the new testament was written more than a generation after the supposed life of Christ and the inconsistencies, similarities with other regional religions, re purposed stories directly from other religions ( look up Perseus ), and every piece of archeological evidence available makes the existence of Christ highly improbable.

At least St. Nicholas was an actual man.

[Seeker]

Saying that Jesus Christ did not exist is as crazy as people who say Hell is in the center of the Earth. There is more documented evidence for the life of Christ (even outside of religious documents, such as the documents of Josephus) than almost any other historical figure. It is a shame that people would discredit Christianity by simply saying that "the existence of Christ is highly improbably." That is the most ludicrous statement on this entire page.

fucking christ, would you god damn fundamentalists get off the internet?

SCIENCE IS BAD. COMPUTERS IS BAD. GOD HATES INTERWEBS.

[Karl]

Alright, so I don't believe the hell being in the center of the earth thing (although I do believe it to be an actual, physical place, and a lot of the others I don't believe in. However, I do believe speeding is a sin, and as the Bible says, the wages of sin is death. (Speeding is sin, because you're going against the law, and we're told to follow the government, unless it goes against God.) Also, about the dinosauras.... check out www.answersingenesis.com. That has very rational arguments, as well as well documented sources and authorities in all types of science fields.

[psychic readings]

thanks for the information posted

[eric]

about number #2. its relative.

you can say that the earth is still and everything rotates around it, its not a problem.
the math will get MUCH harder, but its fine to say that.

whats happening when when normally describe rotations is that we are looking for the simplest most elegant solution. earth standing still is not one of them.

[Andrew Linn]

Hahaha the Fair Education Foundation webiste is blocked by my school's web filter under the title 'occult.'

[phil]

Oh wow, "Sunday" DOES contain "Sun"! My world is being rocked! Hail Horus!!
... :-P

[David]

FUNDAMENTALISM BREEDS IGNORANCE

I can't believe some of the fucktard comments that are being posted about people considering that some of these statements are true or could happen. Open a book other than the Bible and talk to people outside of church for the LOVE OF GOD!