TheMishMash.com

Reading Between the Lines: Bumper Sticker Edition

1. It says:

(Available here).

It means: I Fuck on the First Date.

2. It says:

(Available here).

It means: Bull Dyke Aboard

12 Consumer Product Oddities

1. Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers: stick 'em "onto the inside of your underwear or pants, exactly where you think [they] go."

2. Snott Gorila Hair Styling Gel a/k/a moco de gorila "is THE product for all the most way-out hair styles that need GORILLA STRENGTH!"

Be Seated? 12 Chairs You May Wish You Had Never Seen

1. Crate & Barrel this is not.

(Photo by Gareth Hacking).

Chairman Mao by Gerald Scarfe.

2. Form-fitting, yes, but one wrong shift and ooft.

8 Gag Gifts Sure to Enrage Even the Most Sedate Homophobe

1. Vinnie the Stallion Plush Toy. He's "Vinnie the Stallion [and he's] got a big ole salami..."

2. Wireless Mega-Power Vibrating C0ck Ring

15 T-Shirts You'd Hate to See on Your Daughter's Boyfriend

1. "I like long walks on the beach...after anal."

Available for purchase here.

2. "The Impregnator"

Available for purchase here.

12 Action Figures for the Deviate Who Has Everything

1. Parents, for the budding serial-killer in your brood, it's 'My Little Victims' and features 'realistic dismemberment action.'

2. In tribute to legendary tenor and 'Killer Queen,' it's the Freddie Mercury action figure. (Gay bathhouse sold separately.)

BUY 'EM: Tees

We love the occasional, funny t-shirt as much as anyone. From Threadless, here's our recent favorites:

1. Bald Eagle

2. If You Can Read This: Make Me a Sandwich

3. What Would MacGyver Do?

BUY 'EM: Roger That! Handmade Cards

These are our kind of cards. From the Roger That! website:

"Roger That! provides you with warped retro greeting cards for every possible (and not so possible) occasion!"

For example:

BUY IT: Greeting Cards for Those You Loathe

Urbane and artful cards with just the right amount of derision and disdain.

Each card measures 4.25"x5.5", come with an accompanying white envelope and are professionally packaged in plastic.

Sucks to Be You

I Admire Your Low Standards

You Had Me at 'Goodbye'

From CarolLeeDesigns at etsy.com. $3.00 each.

BUY IT: Ultimate Bean Bag Chair

The Sumo Omni: it's ginormous (about 5.5 x 4.5 feet) and made of ballistic nylon.

According to Sumo:

This super-sized pillow...is the ultimate solution for all your relaxing needs...It's a crash mat, lounge chair, loveseat or floor pillow to name a few, but the possibilities really do go on.

Sumo Beanbags are made from space age rip-proof nylon and come filled with top quality Sumo Beads. [The] Omni is 4.5' x 5.5' and it weighs only 18 lbs!

Buy one and consider yourself in good company: Sumo furnished the Athlete's Lounge at the 2006 X Games and Playboy's 2006 and 2007 Super Bowl parties.

We own two Omni's at themishmash.com and love 'em.

BUY EM: Truck Nuts

From truck-nuts.com and available in many colors, including:

Blue Balls

Flesh Nuts

Also available: Nuts of Steel and Shiny Brass Balls.

BUY 'EM: Retro Art Magnets

Pretty funny. From etsy.com, five in a set for $12/set.

A sampling of All About Men:

And Sex, Sex and More Sex:

BUY IT: Wake Up with a Naked Woman...Everyday!

From ezstyle.co.uk:

"Pictured on the inside of the mug is a tasteful picture of a naked woman so quite simply, the more you drink, the more you see! The combination of caffeine and nudity is sure to set anyone's day off to a great start!"

For the dames.

BUY IT: Selected Halloween Tees

Yeah it's early but, come on, the stores will have up Christmas gear soon anyway.

The Dancing Skeleton

What Would Jason Do?

"They're Coming to Get You, Barbara."

BUY IT: funny tees

I like 'em. Courtesy of etsy.com:

Relax...I'm a Ninja t-shirt

I Make Milk. What's Your Superpower? t-shirt

Buy It: Change Is Good. You Go First.

From etsy.com, a sign for the fearful 'change-agent'.

Buy It: Screw Vintage, this T-Shirt is from the Future

My kind of t-shirt: