TheMishMash.com

Giving a Whole, New Meaning to the Phrase 'Golden Shower'

Not just a whole, new meaning but a much more socially acceptable and far less nauseating connotation also.

(Photo by Jim Bowers).

(Photo by Paul D. Carey).

Like another favorite photo, these images were also taken at the Burning Man annual event. Wikipedia has more here.

10 Fascinatingly Atypical 'Curb Your Dog' Signs

1. The Rastafarians have a way with words.

(Photo by anthonyturducken).

2. Of course the Lutherans are more staid about matters.

(Photo by .ian).

Cleavage or Crack? Test Your T&A IQ.

Booty or boobs? Cleavage or coin slot? As you move your mouse over each clue, the answer will appear. (Tip: the answer/image has to load, so give it a second or two after you've moused-over. For those of you reading via an RSS feed, simply follow the link by clicking the clue.)

• Score 8 or more? You're a T&A connoisseur.
• 4 to 7? You're but a mere mortal.
• 3 or less? Are you human?

1.

2.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Send Her to College

(Photo by redteam).

(Note: The image was shot at one of the Burning Man annual events. Wikipedia has more here.)

10 Telltale Signs the Relationship Honeymoon is Over

Who doesn't love the relationship honeymoon: you're happy, sex is great…all is right with the world.

(Photo by Emiliano).

Unfortunately, though, it doesn't last. To that end, then, you know the relationship honeymoon is over when:

1. You’re on the crapper and realize she’s standing next to you brushing her teeth, and neither of you care.

A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet?

Shakespeare wrote: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." Whether you agree depends on many factors. For example:

1. Meet Virginia ob-gyn Dr. Harry Beaver.

2. God help former Detroit Tiger Rusty Kuntz.

First Look: the Controversial 2008 Film TICKLE MY BALLS ELMO

2008’s most anticipated film is DreamWorks' Tickle My Balls Elmo, a crime/courtroom drama set in Sesame Street’s East Rockaway neighborhood.

(Photo by Cade).

Expected by many to be a breakout role for the popular Muppet, Tickle My Balls Elmo finds Elmo the victim of a brutal rape. Expect the gritty film to be difficult to watch: the scene of Elmo’s rape by grocer Mr. Hooper is rumored to be twenty minutes in length.

In theaters in early June 2008.

Segway Pulls URBAN KNIGHT Ad Campaign

Segway, Inc., manufacturer of the Segway line of self-balancing personal transportation devices, announced yesterday that it was pulling its URBAN KNIGHT ad campaign—less than twenty-fours after its launch.

(Photo by Denny Mack).

Majority shareholders immediately called for CEO Bryce Dickenhofer’s resignation. A spokesperson for the shareholder group told reporters, “Just what in God’s name was Dickenhofer thinking? How many knife-wielding, half-naked men have you seen using a Segway. It’s ridiculous. He should immediately step down."

"As I Was Walking Down the Street [Another] Day..."

1. Cabbage Patch Dolls for the juvenile delinquent.

(Photo by Abra Frankel).

2. Gives a whole, new meaning to the phrase One Stop Shopping.

(Photo by Kim Ripley).

11 Telltale Signs Your New Girlfriend May Be a Restraining Order Waiting to Happen

1. She looks into your eyes and says, "No one has ever made me feel quite the way you do." From across the ordering counter you respond, "Thanks. I'll have a venti machiatto, extra shot please."

(Photo by Kat Kirk).

2. While leaving the movie theater you hear someone shout, "150 yards Goddamnit! 150 yards!" To your surprise she screams back, "Inadvertent contact, Bill! Inadvertent!"

3. Before you’re even home from your first date, she's left four voice mails, sent two text messages and called your best friend to ask where you're at.

(Photo by Francisca Ulloa).

'[A Few Additional] Words of the Prophets Were Written on the Bathroom Stalls'

We had so much fun with the first set of bathroom wall humor that we thought we post a couple more, to wit:

1. No wiser words have ever been spoken.

(Photo by Jennifer Joyce).

2. In the same vein as, "Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head."

(Photo by Sarah Glidden).

'And the Words of the Prophets Were Written on the Bathroom Stalls'

1. "Don't hate me because I am beautiful. Hate me because I did your Dad."

(Photo by Ed Hoover).

2. Tony Robbins channels Hervé Villechaize.

(Photo by Knightwise).

So Many Signs, So Little Time

1. Certainly covers all bases.

(Photo by loungelistener).

2. And a Happy New Year.

(Photo by David Mongeau-Petitpas).

Super Celeb-o-Matic 07!

Whad'ya get when you cross today's celebrity-obsessed culture with Dan Ackroyd's classic SNL shtick Super Bass-o-matic 76? SUPER CELEB-O-MATIC 07!

Of course, it's a stretch; we just needed an excuse to revisit the theme from our previous feature [Who] Do You Get When You Cross...? and liked the analogy. Let's begin.

1. Who do you get when you cross Drew Carey, Donal Logue and Chris Farley?

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

(Photo by Dogseat).

2. Gwen Stefani, Tim Curry and Beetlejuice?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

(Photo by G_Lawler).

[Who] Do You Get When You Cross...?

It's hard to forget Seth Brundle's transformation in the movie The Fly. Cross a fly with a human and sim sim salabim Brundlefly. We've taken the idea a moronic step further, to wit:

1. Who do you get when you cross Seinfeld's Lt. Bookman, Bob Marley and Marilu Henner?

God help us.

(Photo by Omsel A).

2. Elton John, Amy Winehouse and Michael Kinsley?

It's showtime!

(Photo by Sea Turtle).

You've Probably Crossed the Mason-Dixon Line When...

1. Who says you need snow or water to ski!

(Photo by Katie Weilbacher).

2. Grandpa is armed and dangerous.

(Photo by Tread).

No Wonder Some Animals Eat Their Own Young

Raising kids, though difficult, is incredibly rewarding. Difficult how, you ask? Let us show you the ways.

1. Today must must have been Dad's day to babysit.

2. Let's hope he doesn't use the bathtub as a toilet.

"What a Difference a [State] Makes..."

Nice a$s in California:

Nice a$s in Mississippi:

Dorothy, You're Not in Kansas Anymore

"Auntie Em?"

"We represent the Lollipop Kids..."

12 Action Figures for the Deviate Who Has Everything

1. Parents, for the budding serial-killer in your brood, it's 'My Little Victims' and features 'realistic dismemberment action.'

2. In tribute to legendary tenor and 'Killer Queen,' it's the Freddie Mercury action figure. (Gay bathhouse sold separately.)