TheMishMash.com

Why Some People Shouldn't Be Allowed to Use Twitter

Twitter.com: "Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?"

User Dopeboyfresh, though, appears to be a perfect example of Twitter done wrong. To wit:

Yikes.

Religious Zealots Say the Darndest Things

They say...

1. That Hell is just beneath you, less than twenty miles away.

(Photo by Martin Sharman).

According to Pastor James Melton "the sphere of Hell is a round, hollowed-out place in the Earth's core...Scientists say that the Earth's outer crust is less than twenty miles thick, and that beyond that point, there [is] ... a lake of fire. [At] this very moment your eternal soul may be less than twenty miles from the burning fires of Hell!"

Pastor Melton's not alone. According to Dial-the-Truth Ministries, hell is unquestionably inside of the Earth. "The great pit [of] hell would only need to be about 100 miles or less in diameter to contain, with much room to spare, all the forty billion or so people who have ever lived, assuming their spiritual bodies are the same size as their physical bodies."

2. That the earth is stationary; the universe in fact orbits the Earth.

(Photo by NASA).

According to the Fair Education Foundation, the universe, "the stars, every 23 hours and 56 minutes...go around a stationary Earth."

The Association for Biblical Astronomy believes similarly.

You're an Intolerant Tool If...

1. You really think it's that simple.

(Photo by Abbyladybug).

2. You hawk pre-Civil War era garbage.

(Photo by Jacob Krejci).

(Photo by Kaleidoscope).

The Darkie items are not museum pieces; they were actually marketed by the Colgate-Palmolive Company as recently as 1988.

"We're on a Mission from God...[the Rest of You Will Burn in Hell]"

All religions have those select few who, let's say, lack a sense of moderation. For example:

1. Good for one or two children's nightmares.

(Photo by Itatton).

2. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

(Photo by Afroswede).

9 Telltale Signs You're Probably an Asshole

1. You wildly overstate your case.

2. You act as if the rules don't apply to you.

"Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be A$*h0les"

Waylon Jennings urged Moms not to let their babies grow up to be cowboys; we're more concerned though with those who grow up to be a$*h0les. This, then, is our ode to those who need to lighten up.

1. Your ass is like a so tight, you fart and only the dogs can hear it.

2. Someone should bloody his bottom.

Masterful ‘No Trespass’ Sign

Lighten up, Francis.

And You Thought Pinhead From Hellraiser Looked Scary...

The whole 'White Pride' tattooed eyebrow thing is a bit unnerving also.

9 'Signs' You Need a Shrink

1. There's what in the where?!

2. "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train..."

Dolt of the Day

Yeah, honesty's the best policy but, jeez, have some freaking dignity.

Friday's Dolt of the Day ("DOTD")

Couldn't have said it any any better: "A 60-year-old in a G-string banana hammock is not a pretty sight."

"As I Was Walking Down the Street One Day..."

Don't they make support hose for that?

Is that Wilford Brimley?

"Go to Church or the Devil Will Get You!"

Devout yet so psychotic:

Isn't That Special

Just warms the heart: father and sons out for a walk.

Tuesday's Dolt of the Day: Mr. Cool Ice

Mr. Cool Ice?

Tom Cruise: How Dare You Flatulate On My Set

According to New Zealand's Stuff.co.nz:

"Hollywood star Tom Cruise was left furious after a crew member on his latest film set passed wind during a minute's silence.

[Cruise] had paused filming to honour the anti-Nazi heroes portrayed in the movie when one employee decided to break wind during the tribute...

A source on the set told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: 'Fortunately the mystery gassy man didn't completely ruin the touching gesture...

[N]ow Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired.'"

Future Serial Killer

'Nuff said.

Something Better to Do?

According to tmz.com:

Maddox Jolie-Pitt's daily trips to and from school have officially become a police matter.

When Daddy Brad arrived yesterday afternoon to pick Maddox up, NYPD had set up barriers to keep the snapperazzi and onlookers a few yards away from the front door of the Lycee Francais. When it came time to leave, the crush of peepers was so insane, Brad decided to take Maddox out a back door.

Is it just me, or don't these people have something better to do with their time than hang around a school entrance in hopes of catching a glimpse of someone picking their kid up from school?