TheMishMash.com

12 Consumer Product Oddities

1. Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers: stick 'em "onto the inside of your underwear or pants, exactly where you think [they] go."

2. Snott Gorila Hair Styling Gel a/k/a moco de gorila "is THE product for all the most way-out hair styles that need GORILLA STRENGTH!"

Religious Zealots Say the Darndest Things

They say...

1. That Hell is just beneath you, less than twenty miles away.

(Photo by Martin Sharman).

According to Pastor James Melton "the sphere of Hell is a round, hollowed-out place in the Earth's core...Scientists say that the Earth's outer crust is less than twenty miles thick, and that beyond that point, there [is] ... a lake of fire. [At] this very moment your eternal soul may be less than twenty miles from the burning fires of Hell!"

Pastor Melton's not alone. According to Dial-the-Truth Ministries, hell is unquestionably inside of the Earth. "The great pit [of] hell would only need to be about 100 miles or less in diameter to contain, with much room to spare, all the forty billion or so people who have ever lived, assuming their spiritual bodies are the same size as their physical bodies."

2. That the earth is stationary; the universe in fact orbits the Earth.

(Photo by NASA).

According to the Fair Education Foundation, the universe, "the stars, every 23 hours and 56 minutes...go around a stationary Earth."

The Association for Biblical Astronomy believes similarly.

You're an Intolerant Tool If...

1. You really think it's that simple.

(Photo by Abbyladybug).

2. You hawk pre-Civil War era garbage.

(Photo by Jacob Krejci).

(Photo by Kaleidoscope).

The Darkie items are not museum pieces; they were actually marketed by the Colgate-Palmolive Company as recently as 1988.

Single, Most Compelling Reason NOT to Vote for Mike Huckabee

Yeah, it's over the top (below), but Huckabee's recent comments raised my pucker factor to near record levels.

P.S. Yes, it's fake; it's a P.A.R.O.D.Y.

Flunked: 14 Signs of a Deficient Intellect

1. God help us.

(Photo by Laura Kicey).

2. Furst kum, furst surfed.

(Photo by Kuminiac).

OVERKILL [oh-ver-kil] a Pictorial Definition

Dictionary.com defines overkill as "an excess of what is required or suitable, as because of zeal or misjudgment." We prefer a more visual definition, though.

To that end, overkill is...

1. Threatening to kill anyone who hits a dog YOU let run into the street.

(Photo by Sammo371).

2. Having eight doorbells when it appears no one's visiting anyway.

(Photo by dM.nyc).

11 Toilets from Hell

1. His and her bathrobes? Sure. His and her bowel movements? Pass.

2. When nature calls it's not always according to 'schedule'.

(Photo by Brenda Anderson).

7 Places You Hope You Never See a...Sphincter?

You hope you never see a sphincter...

1. Anywhere you'd eat.

That didn't deter, however, artist Atelier Van Lieshout from creating the the Bar Rectum, which "takes its shape from the human digestive system: starting with the tongue, continuing to the stomach, moving through the small and the large intestines and exiting through the anus...The anus itself is part of a large door that doubles as an emergency exit."

Yummy.

2. Anywhere you keep your lipstick.

The larger image is even more unsettling.

(Photograph taken by The Kozy Shack).

9 Telltale Signs You're Probably an Asshole

1. You wildly overstate your case.

2. You act as if the rules don't apply to you.

[Please Don't] Send in the Clowns: 11 Clowns You Hope Never Work Your Child's Birthday Party

1. "This is my part-time gig, just until the Dead get back together. By the way, any of you kids got a J?"

2. "Hi. I'm Giggles, and I'm an alcoholic."